101 Ways to Annoy Severus Snape
by Cerenbus.Snape.Malfoy
Summary: This story is more light-hearted and funny. It's the third year at Hogwarts, and it's where the main kids; Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, etc. go up against each other, trying to pull the best pranks on Snape. Whoever wins, gets bragging rights for the next five years at school. Who will win, and will Snape be driven to insanity? Rated T because some of the pranks are a bit mature...
1. Chapter 1

**Part one: Argument leads to pranking**

Draco Malfoy sauntered cockily into potions class, smirking haughtily at everyone who looked at him. He caught sight of the golden trio, Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and their filthy mudblood friend, Hermione Granger.

"Ah, Potter. So good to see you, how have you been?" He asked sardonically, smiling at him. Harry stared at Draco, his face twitching. "What do _you _want?" Ron asked, almost whining. Draco turned his molten silver gaze onto the redhead. "Still whining I see." He muttered, looking absolutely disgusted as he flicked his gaze up and down the red-head.

"I see you finally started washing your hair." Hermione piped up, pushing in front of Ron and Harry, folding her arms and glaring at Draco. Draco's face twitched as he stared at her. Damn, she was getting bold. "Filthy mudblood." He hissed, scowling. Hermione let her arms drop, clenching her fists, a look that could kill lining her face.

Both Ron and Harry grabbed her arms before she could lunge at Malfoy.

It was like that for the first week of school. They would argue, almost get into a fight, and get in trouble with professor Snape, who demanded silence at their foolish quarreling.

Finally, they all had enough of it, being that the only time they were in the same class was potions, and they were no longer allowed to argue. So they said to meet up at free time after lunch in the empty classroom.

"Alright, Malfoy. I'm tired of this bickering. It's time we-" Draco cut him off. "Forget it Potter, I'm not making _friends_ with you!" he cried, disgusted. "We're not suggesting that, _believe _me." Hermione cut in. Draco glared at her. "It's time we settle this." Harry continued.

Draco suddenly looked interested. He raised his blonde brows. "Oh really? How? A wand war? A battle of wits?" he guessed. "Nope." Ron laughed. "Not even close."

Hermione glared at him. "Shut up Ron." She turned back to Malfoy. "If it weren't for Snape, we'd be able to argue in potions. But because he seems to not be able to take it, there's only one other way we can settle this, hence, defeating one _and_ getting revenge on Snape." She told him.

He raised a silver eyebrow. "And that would be…?" He prompted. A smirk lit up Harry's face. "Pranks."

The moment Draco heard the word, a smile spread across his pale face. "Winner get's bragging rights for the rest of the time spent at Hogwarts. Loser has to suck it for the next five years. Deal?" Harry stuck out his hand. Draco smirked and took it. "Deal."

**…**

To even things out a bit, Hermione was forced to 'join sides' with Draco. Draco didn't care. He might hate Hermione, but he was no fool. He knew how brilliant she was. He knew she'd come up with clever pranks.

"For the sake of winning, Malfoy, I suggest we put our differences aside for this year." She suggested while they were meeting up to discuss what prank they should pull first. "Agreed." Malfoy settled without question. Hermione was slightly surprised at this, but her competitive side had kicked in, and all she could think about was beating Ron and Harry.

"Okay, so I was thinking about what we should do first, and I came up with the most clever idea." She was saying. They were sitting in one of the many empty classrooms. They only had five minutes before the bell sounded and they had to get to potions class. "What does Snape never do?" She asked.

Draco thought for a moment. "Smile?" He finally assessed. "Exactly." Hermione grinned. "So, what we do, is smile brightly at him every time he looks at us." She grinned. Draco thought for a moment. "I suppose it will freak him out a little bit, but it's a bit of a weak prank." He told her.

She frowned. "I've never really done this before." She sulked. "I suppose it'll be good for now, because we don't have time to think of anything else." He replied, looking at his timepiece just as the bell was sounding. "Come on." He grabbed her arm and started running out.

She followed him, silently wondering what Ron and Harry had planned.

Once they reached potions, they saw that Ron and Harry were already in there. Hermione and Draco shared a glance, then got to their seats, sitting next to each other for a change. They were sitting across from Ron and Harry, whom nodded curtly, eyebrows raised and smirks on their faces.

Just then, professor Snape walked in, and class began. Hermione nudged Draco with her elbow and he nodded, preparing to smile broadly every time Snape looked their way. They got their chance as his black gaze passed over them. They both plastered cheesy grins on their faces, causing him to stare at them for a moment, eyes narrowed, before shaking his head and beginning the lesson.

Draco and Hermione noticed him stop and stare at Ron and Harry. They turned to see them waving wildly at him. Snape stared at them, puzzled. "Is there something you wish to say?" he asked finally. They both shook their head, putting their hands down.

Throughout the rest of the lesson, Draco and Hermione grinned at Snape like idiots, while Ron and Harry waved at him every time he looked their way. By the end of the lesson, Snape was thoroughly confused and slightly ticked.

He had seemed, however, more ticked by Ron and Harry than by Hermione and Draco. "Looks like you guys won this round." Hermione sighed. "Wait, let's bring in an impartial third party and have them decide." Harry suggested. "Who?" Ron asked. "How about your sister?" Draco suggested. "Ginny? But she'd be partial towards me." He said, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

"She would also be partial to Ganger, what's your point?" Draco told him. "True. Okay, let's get her."

The kids grabbed Ginny as she was walking past and told her what was going on. "OH! So that's what you were doing!" She laughed. "I want in!" She begged. "Okay, you can be the score keeper." Ron told her. "Who won this round?" He asked. "I think professor disliked yours more." She told Ron and Harry. "It was definitely more annoying." She laughed.

"Okay Ginny, can you start keeping track of the score?" harry asked. "Okay, so one point for team… wait, what are your teams called?" She asked. "How about, we'll be team Pottley, and they can be team Grangoy." Ron laughed. "Whatever. Pottley one, Grangoy zero." She took out her notebook and wrote it down.

"See you tomorrow at potions." She told them, walking away.

**AN: okay, so their first pranks were kinda weak, but that's expected, right? Do you think I should continue? I have a ton of awesome pranks in mind that will positively ruin Draco, Hermione, Ron and Harry's lives... Feel free to post your own ideas for pranks, I may just use them!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Part two: Second and third day of pranking**

…the next day at potions…

Team Grangoy was determined to bring home the point this day. And team Pottley was eager to gain another point to get them further ahead.

"Do I have to?" Draco whined. "Yes." Hermione hissed. "But all my friends will be watching…" He whined. "Do you want to win?" Hermione glared at him. "Yes… but-" She cut him off. "Then quit whining, and do it." She told him. She stood up as soon as Snape entered.

"Come on." She hissed, poking Draco as she moved past him. Draco reluctantly left his seat, following her over to Snape. "Morning professor!" Hermione said cheerfully, giving him a hug. His eyes widened and he looked thoroughly taken aback. "Morning." Draco grumbled, giving him a quick side-hug, then scurrying off to his seats, ignoring the muffled giggles they got.

It took Snape a moment to recover, and when he did, he set strange looks over at them.

For a good time, Ron and Harry did nothing. They were waiting for the right moment. Ron poked Harry and he hit the button on his record-player they had enchanted to be tiny, but to still be loud. As professor Snape moved towards them to inspect their potion, the theme to the muggle movie, 'Jaws' began playing.

Snape stopped, listening, confused. "What is that unearthly sound?" He demanded, looking around. Ron and harry stifled giggles. "Nothing." They both said at the same time. Snape gave them 'the look', then moved away and Harry turned off the record-player.

They turned it back on every time he came near them.

At the end of the day, they all met up with Ginny in the empty classroom. "Okay, so they were both good today, but I'd say team Grangoy won this round." She smiled, scribbling down in her notebook. "Yes!" Draco and Hermione cried, grinning and high-fiving. They were too pleased with their victory to realize they had just high-fived their enemy.

…the next day in potions…

"Okay, have you got the note?" Draco checked. "Right here. She showed him as they headed for class. He read it over quickly, smiling. "Okay, now we need to slip it onto his desk before he gets there." He told her. She nodded, taking it and folding it, then misting a bit of perfume over it.

Draco laughed at her final touch. She handed it back to him as they entered the empty classroom. He slipped up to the front and slid it onto his desk amongst several other papers.

He grinned as he slinked back down and plopped down next to Hermione as the next students were coming in. Hermione gave Ron and Henry a friendly, yet very cocky grin, and they sent it back.

They all sat down, and soon, Snape entered. He went up to his desk right away, as he always did, and told the class to open to a certain page. While they did, he went through the papers on the desk and found the note. Hermione elbowed Draco and he nodded, smirking as they saw him open it.

They stifled giggles as they saw his face turn from curious, to shocked, to annoyed. Hermione remembered every inappropriate thing she'd written in that letter. She knew exactly what he was reading, and she would probably have the same reaction if she had found the letter addressed to her.

It read;

_Dear Sevie-poo,_

_It's me, your secret admirer. Yes. I admire you. No, I adore you! I love everything about you! Your hair, your eyes, your clothes, your soul –who knew everything about a person could be black, and still enjoyable? ME, of course! _

_I hope to someday snog you. I wish I could tell you who I am, but for now, all I am to you, is… your one and only soul-mate._

_Hugs and kisses,_

_ Your secret admirer_

Hermione stifled a giggle just thinking about what Snape was reading. He was late getting class started, but when he did, he looked thoroughly flustered. "Turn to page 56." He told everyone. They turned. Hermione could have sworn she heard an echo. She shrugged it off.

"Today, we will be learning how to brew-" He stopped, staring at Ron, who was mimicking his every word, saying it in a deep voice.

"Mister Weasley. Are you mocking me?" he demanded, coming up to them. "Mister Weasley, are you mocking me?" Ron repeated. The room burst into giggles. "Quiet." Snape growled, turning to them, then back to Harry and Ron.

He glared at them, then continued on talking, ignoring Ron completely as he continued repeating everything he said.

"Okay, who do you think won this time?" Hermione asked Ginny. "Well, I never actually saw you guys do anything." She knitted her brow, staring at Hermione and Draco. "We did! We wrote him a sappy love letter from his 'secret admirer.'" Draco told her, doing air-quotes.

"I thought I saw him staring extra hard at a note before class." Ginny laughed. "So that's what it was. Hmm. Note, or mimicry…" She grinned. "Sorry, but I think team Pottley was more annoying." She told them. "Yeah!" Ron and Harry high-fived while Hermione and Draco just shook their heads, making faces.

"Okay, so it's two to one, team Pottley is in the lead." She wrote it down as they all headed off to their next classes.

**AN: hehe, how do you like it so far? :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Part three: day four and five of pranking**

…the next day at potions…

"Not a chance! NO!" Hermione argued.

"Oh come on! It would be priceless! Plus, we need to catch up anyway." Draco pleaded.

Hermione stared at him, horrified. "Bu-but!"

He stopped her. "You made me hug him, and that was incredibly awkward. Now it's my turn." He told her.

"But that was different!" She cried. "This is-"

Draco cut her off. "No buts. Come on." He dragged her to the class, where she sat and sulked as they waited for everyone else to file in.

Draco noticed a bunch of roses on Snape's desk. He laughed to himself. Snape would probably think they were from his 'secret admirer'

Snape walked in just then. He stopped when he got to his desk and stared down at the flowers. He looked up at the students as they all sat down. Scowling, he took out his wand and destroyed them, then got to work.

It took a while for the right condition to be in place, but when it did happen, it happened perfectly. Snape was telling Hermione off for being an 'insufferable know-it-all' and had bent down slightly to be at her level.

She stared at him as he quizzed her, trying to find something she _didn't _know, which was a near impossible task. Hermione leaned forward, pressing her lips firmly against his.

Draco smirked to himself as Snape quickly pulled away, eyes wide. Some students had been watching Snape drill Hermione, and therefore saw the whole thing, and burst into hoots of laughter if they dared.

Draco was also laughing very hard, being right next to her and seeing the whole thing quite well. He was laughing so hard he had to put his head down on the desk, and therefore didn't notice Hermione as she had ran out of the room, her face red.

Without a word, Snape left, leaving the students an hour of free time. "That! Was amazing." Ginny laughed, wiping tears from her eyes. "Point Grangoy." She giggled, scribbling in her notebook.

The class was giggling and talking excitedly. Harry and Ron moved over to Draco, laughing. "Who's bloody idea was that?" Ron cried.

"Mine." Draco laughed, holding his sides which were sore from laughing so hard.

"Bloody hell, how'd you get her to do that?" Ron cried again.

Draco just shook his head, laughing. "Where'd Hermione go anyway?" Harry asked, looking around.

"Probably went to go boil her lips." Draco laughed, his head on the desk as he tried to calm his laughter.

"Blimey, our roses weren't half as good as that." Ron grumbled, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

They found Hermione hiding in the empty classroom. "So… how was it?" Draco asked, smirking and obviously fighting back laughter.

Hermione glared at him, then smacked her lips together, scrunching up her nose. "It was… odd." She replied.

"Odd? You just kissed our potions master and all you can say is that it was 'odd?'" Ron cried.

Hermione shrugged. "He'll probably think I'm his secret admirer now." She sighed, tapping her heels on the floor, she then glanced up at Draco who was still smirking and laughing.

"I still think you should have done it, Malfoy." She grumbled matter-of-factly.

"Are you mad?" Draco piped up. "The whole school may think I'm gay, but it may surprise you to know that I'm actually not!" He cried. Hermione shrugged again. "Honestly! What has this world come to?" He went on, not over-dramatizing anything and actually making a convincing theatrical display of befuddlement at one's non-formidable attempt at subtlety in off-handedness at such a statement. It was really quite the show.

…the next day in potions…

Needless to say, Hermione got detention and a serious scolding for what she did, but Draco convinced her it was worth it. Even though now everyone was calling her 'miss locklips' The teachers, mainly professor MacGonagal tried to make her say why she did it, but she refused to answer, saying it was, 'personal'

Snape entered the room, looking to be in a foul mood. "You best do this one, Draco, I don't need to be getting into any more trouble for a while." She whispered, leaning into Draco.

He nodded, then stopped. "What? No, I can't! This is a girl's one!" He hissed.

"That was before I became 'miss locklips' She growled, scribbling in her notebook.

"But then, what are they going to start calling me?" Draco hissed.

"Oh, don't worry, it's worth it." She replied in an off-hand manner, but Draco knew this was her way of getting back at him.

He growled, going back to working on his test.

Meanwhile, over at Harry and Ron's desk, they were preparing for their big prank. "Ready?" Harry asked as Snape came over to inspect their potion. He nodded.

They both smiled. "Morning professor. How are you feeling?" They both asked at the same time. Snape stared at them, then moved to the next two, completely skipping over Malfoy and Hermione. Ron and Harry grinned at each other.

Later, after class, when everyone was filing out, Hermione and Draco waited outside the door. "You didn't do anything-" Ginny began but Draco and Hermione shushed her. Just then, Snape came out in the midst of his students, walking down through the crowded hallway.

Without a word, Draco stepped in his way. Snape narrowed his eyes. "Is something wrong, mister Malfoy?" He asked. Draco stared up at him, not replying, trying to keep a straight face. Harry and Ron had noticed and went over to stand next to Hermione and Ginny as they watched the whole thing.

Snape attempted to go around Draco several times, then finally pushed past him, nearly knocking him over and stormed off. 'Now for the good part.' Hermione thought with a smile.

Draco got up, then yelled out after Snape. "Come back, Severus! You _know _this is your child!" he yelled at the top of his loungs, a hand on his stomach.

Snape turned sharply, staring, as did several other people in the hall, eyes wide. Draco took off running, grabbing Hermione's hand as he whizzed past her. She let out a startled yelp, scurrying to keep up with him while Ron, Ginny and Harry raced after them.

Draco didn't stop until they were in the empty classroom. "Bloody hell, bloody hell!" He muttered, pulling at his hair.

Hermione burst out laughing. "That was good." She cried.

"Yeah, but now Snape's gonna kill me." He cried. Ron, Harry and Ginny all agreed.

"That, was amazing." Ron cried, running up to Draco and giving him a bear-hug. Draco's eyes widened as his feet were completely lifted off the floor. Ron put him back down, grinning from ear-to-ear.

Draco brushed off his shirt. "Yeah, but now they're gonna start calling me 'missus Snape' UGH! I can't take it!" He growled, cringing majorly.

"Well, I'd say it's all tied up again, but I think I'll award Grangoy two points for that one, since you did two things, and because that was so completely amazing I can't stand it." Ginny smiled.

"Yes!" Hermione whooped.

"Not worth it." Draco grumbled, shaking his head.

**AN: That one was personally my favorite, lol, poor Draco! Please review? :) OH, by the way? Some of you were asking how Ginny could be in the same class as them because she's a year behind them. Well… I like bending the rules, as I did in my previous story, 'The Boy No One Knew' the timetables are a mixture of the students depending on their level of achievement. So, Ginny is in a higher level of potions, so she is allowed to attend it with the third-years even though she's still a second-year. Hope that made sense. Please review. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Part four: Day six and seven**

…the next day in potions…

Rumors had spread like a wildfire about Snape and Malfoy. And true to his suspicions, everyone started calling him 'mister expectant' and 'mister loaded' or 'missus Snape'

"Stupid prank game." He muttered crossly, his arms folded, slumped down in his seat as they all waited for Snape to enter.

Hermione giggled. "All in good fun." She teased, poking him playfully.

Just then, Snape walked in, looking madder than ever. Malfoy slumped further in his seat, really not looking forward to the prank he had to pull this time. He had begged Granger to do it, but she'd reasoned that his reputation couldn't possibly get any worse, being that everyone now thought that he was expecting Snape's child, it would sound better coming from him.

Malfoy had simply grumbled at that and grudgingly agreed.

After double potions, Snape began inspecting potions. When he came up to Harry and Ron, Harry burst into long, uncontrollable wails and sobs.

The whole class began giggling. Snape hushed them, then turned back to Potter, not sure if he should be concerned or annoyed. "Potter, what in the name of all that is holy is the matter with you?" He demanded. Harry just let out another long, loud wail. Snape's face twitched, and he turned away, going back to his desk.

Harry stopped crying right away, sending the room into another giggling fit. "Quiet." Snape growled. He shook his head, taking out his book and telling everyone to turn to a certain page.

"Hold on, everyone, there's something I'd like to say first." Draco stood up, and Snape glared at him. "I just wanted, to announce to the whole class, just to let them know how sincere I am when I say how deeply, and truly, I… love Severus Snape." He finished quickly. The entire classroom, which had been silent throughout the start of Draco's speech burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

Draco spoke over them. "My love for him is undying! It always was, is and always shall be! And he is fathering MY CHILD!" With that, he took off running from the classroom. Snape slammed his book shut, then chased him to the door, but didn't bother going out after him, as the boy was already long gone, having discovered that speed was relevant when running from Severus Snape.

"QUIET!" Snape demanded. It took a while, but they managed to settle down. "TURN TO PAGE 45." He snarled. His tone of voice kept everyone from disobeying.

After class, they all met up in the empty classroom, where Draco was hiding, sitting in the corner, hugging his knees. "Okay, point to team Grangoy, for that, amazing confession back there." Ginny playfully punched Draco's arm. All he could do was shake his head, making a face.

"Yeah, that was pretty good, Malfoy." Harry laughed.

"Yours too, Potter. But at least yours won't haunt you to your death." Malfoy grudgingly acknowledged, muttering the last part.

"Okay, six to three." Ginny told them. "Step up your game, Pottley." She grinned at her brother and Harry.

…the next day at potions…

Ron raised his hand. "Yes, Weasley, what is it?" Snape asked, almost wearily.

"Sir, I uh… just wanted to let you know that, um, ahem, y-you pants… they fell down." He blushed furiously. Of course, all the students rubber-necked, trying to see if he was right.

Snape raised an eyebrow and glanced down. His pants were perfectly fine. He looked back at Ron, raising an eyebrow again. Ron suddenly jumped up, running from the room, waving his hands in the air and screaming at the top of his lungs. "It's magic I tell you! MAGIC!" Everyone burst out laughing again.

Snape commanded silence. All but Malfoy stopped. He continued laughing hysterically. "Malfoy, silence yourself." He hissed.

Draco stopped, staring at him with a straight face. "The only way that will happen is if you kiss me as well as you did last night." He burst out laughing again. Snape's face twitched when everyone else started laughing again.

Wordlessly, Snape cast a silencing spell over Malfoy, who was laughing so hard, he's fallen out of his seat. Hermione giggled, watching him writhe around on the floor, giddy with silenced laughter.

Snape uncast the spell just before he left at the end of the lesson, and Draco was still laughing.

"Okay, point to Grangoy." Ginny giggled when they'd congregated in the empty classroom.

"What?" Ron and Harry cried.

"Sorry, but nothing can beat what they just did." She giggled. Ron and Harry glared at Draco, who's cheeks were flushed from laughing so hard for so long. He was panting, all smiles. The pale boy looked wonderful with a touch of rosy pink in his cheeks.

"How did you manage to laugh like that for so long?" Ginny giggled.

"I don't know." He panted, smiling broadly. "I-it was just…" He giggled again. "Just so… so funny. Stop! I-I can't breathe." He was laughing again. It took him a while to calm down. And by then, he had to sit down because he was light-headed, clutching at his ribs which were sore, his head between his knees.

"That was good. Okay, Grangoy seven, Pottley, three. Seriously, they're leaving you in the dust! Catch up guys!"

**AN: Another awesome prank, hehe. Heheh. HEHEHEHEHEHHEAHAHAHAHAHAHMUAUAUAHAH! *cough cough choke wheeze* AHEM. sorry.**

**Spotlight on Kicky-Kicky-Chop-Chop and TearsLost for the idea for Draco announcing his love for Severus prank. ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Part five: Day eight and nine of pranking**

…the next day in potions…

After the day before, Malfoy was then on called 'giggles' or 'miss giggles' or 'laughing lady' and still 'mister expectant' and 'missus Snape' They just wouldn't let it go, and he didn't expect they would for a long time.

Draco and Hermione glanced over at Ron who was sitting by himself. "Where's Harry?" Hermione hissed when Snape wasn't looking.

"You'll see." Ron whispered.

Suddenly, the doors burst open and Harry barged in, screaming his head off. Snape spun to see what was going on. Harry plopped down at his desk and stopped screaming, casually opening his book to the right page and acting as though nothing had happened.

The room, once again, burst into giggles. "SILENCE!" Snape demanded. "Potter? What on Earth is the matter with you? You show up twenty minutes late, screaming, and then- now…." He snapped his mouth shut, unable to find anything to say. He clenched the quill in his hand so hard it snapped in half and his body was visibly twitching with strain as he fought to control it. Swiftly, he turned back to what he was doing and began lecturing about what he had been talking about before Harry's rude interruption, his chalk grinding so hard on the chalkboard that it snapped several times. Even then, he didn't relent.

Draco had argued with Hermione again about her not doing any of the pranks lately, but she just told him that it would be more annoying to Snape coming from him. He had grudgingly agreed, and was now waiting for the proper moment.

Draco raised his hand. For a full five minutes, Snape ignored him. That was until Draco started chanting 'Sev! Sev! Sev!'

"What?" he finally cried, spinning around and glaring daggers at the boy.

Draco put his hand down, grinning. "I just wanted to tell you that you look amazing." He told him with a flirty face, his eyes perceptibly roaming Snape's body. Snape stared at him, his jaw set in a grim line, eyes wide, one eye twitching, fists clenched.

Without replying, he went back to ranting about some kind of potion.

After class, in the empty classroom, Ginny had to agree that team Pottley had won that round. "Okay, so it's Grangoy seven, Pottley four." She murmured, scribbling it down. "That was awesome guys." She laughed.

…next day in potions…

Professor Snape walked in, looking grouchy as ever. "Professor?" Hermione asked.

"What?" he asked scathingly, sitting down at his desk.

Hermione glanced around nervously. "Do you hear them too?" She asked, a distant, glazed look in her eyes.

He narrowed his eyes in confusion."Hear what?" he asked warily.

"The voices. Do you hear the voices too?" She whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, and everyone else in the class.

Snape's face twitched. "Every day of my life." He grumbled, going back to his desk. 'They tell me I need to get a life, and do something with it.' He thought angrily.

"Professor!" Ron cried, running in.

"What?" Snape asked crustily, not looking up at him.

"Professor Dumbledore needs to speak to you, he said it's _urgent!" _He told him, eyes wide.

"Prefects are in charge." Snape instructed as he stood and hurried out. Ron grinned, going over and plopping down next to Harry.

"I wonder what Dumbledore needs." Hermione murmured thoughtfully.

"He doesn't need anything, I made it up. That's the prank." Ron laughed.

"Ron!" Hermione cried, eyes wide.

"Relax, we've done worse." Draco shook his head, reclining in his chair.

"True." Hermione giggled.

"I'm just surprised he still trusts us after all we've done." Harry laughed.

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Ron cried, throwing confetti in the air with his wand.

"YEAH!" Everyone jumped up, adding confetti with their wands, grinning and laughing.

"He won't after this." Hermione cried over the noise.

The kids had fun, laughing and all-out partying. "Weasley-" Snape entered the room, fully intent on calling Weasley out for lying, but instead, he walked into a zone of utter and complete chaos. "SILENCE!" He'd nearly lost it this time.

His black gaze settled on Ron, who gulped and shrank into his seat.

Ron was unable to meet with them that evening, seeing as he was serving detention, cleaning each and every speck of confetti from the room without magic.

"Okay, point, Pottley." Ginny grinned, scribbling it down.

"I have to admit, ours _was_ pretty weak this time." Draco shook his head, making a face.

"That's because I did it. See, Draco? You're _much _better at pranks than I am." Hermione suggested, obviously trying to get Draco to do all from then on.

"Oh ho ho, I see what you're doing, and nice try, but no." He smirked and shook his head at Hermione, who scowled in reply. Draco turned back to Harry. "Don't get used to winning points, Potter." He warned.

Harry laughed.

"Okay." Ginny smiled. "Grangoy is still in the lead, with seven points, and Pottley with five; they're starting to catch up!" She sang the last part as she padded out.

**AN: lol, let me know what you think. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Part six: Days ten and eleven of pranking**

…the next day in potions…

Snape kept a close eye on Ron through the lesson. Fortunately for poor Ron, it was Harry's turn to do something foolish. Harry and Ron noticed something differently about the way Hermione was dressed that day. She was wearing all black, and her hair seemed very different. Shorter, darker, straighter.

Harry narrowed his eyes in confusion, then looked at Ron and raised his eyebrows in an unspoken question. Ron merely shrugged. Hermione got up from her seat and waited at the door. It burst open not moments later, an annoyed looking Severus Snape walking briskly in and informing the class to turn to a certain page.

Hermione followed Snape, copying his every body movement, and staying one step behind him so he didn't at first notice her. He did, however, notice her absence in her seat, and the muffled giggles the students were giving.

He stopped, turning slowly to look behind him to see a little version of himself standing there, mimicking the way he was standing, with his head swiveled to the side.

At first, all he saw was the back of her head, and saw the shoulder-length black hair that looked just like his own, and the black robes. He grabbed Hermione's arm and yanked her to face him. It was a slight shock to him that it was her, but he recovered quickly. "Just what, do you think you're doing, miss Granger?" he asked in his monotone voice, his hand gripped firmly on her upper arm.

She stared back at him with the same disapproving scowl. "Silence!" She cried, then turned to the class. "Turn to page 394." She instructed in a no-nonsense manner that perfectly matched Snape's careless, monotone voice, but was obviously a mockery of it.

Snape drew back his lips in a silent snarl. "Are you mocking me?" He hissed, his grip tightening on her arm.

Hermione put her hands on her hips after ripping her arm out of his grasp and imitating his snarl perfectly. "Are you mocking me?" She challenged in the same way he had. By now, the room was filled with laughter.

"I said shut up!" Snape bellowed at them. That was the first time he'd said anything other than 'silence' or 'quiet'

"Take a seat, Granger." He growled.

"I detest that remark! My name is not, _Granger_." She said her own name as though it were foul tasting upon her lips. "Who would want to be an insufferable know-it-all? _I'm_ Severus Snape." She stared at him with a challenging glint in her eyes.

Snape's face twitched. _"Now_, Granger. Honestly. I've had enough of you brats." He shoved her and she stumbled to her seat, smiling. Harry raised his hand. Snape glanced over and did a double take, then winced, closing his eyes. "What, Potter. Or should I just, list you for a detention now and save myself to trouble of listening to your asinine mockery." Snape growled.

"Oh, it's just, I was just wondering, that is. Why… why you never married." He asked. Snape stared at him for a moment, as if something were flashing behind his eyes in a memory. "Class dismissed." He said in a broken voice, as though he fought to control it.

"But professor-" Hermione tried, her thrilled smile vanishing,

"Go." He said wearily, almost sounding desperate. Everyone complied without having to be asked twice.

"Why do you think that upset him so much?" Hermione asked when they were in the empty classroom. She folded her arms over her chest, looking quite odd in the different clothing and hair.

"Who knows. But I think… Grangoy wins. Sorry Pottley, it's just, you seemed to upset him more than annoy him." Ginny murmured as she started writing.

"That's Grangoy eight, Pottley five."

…a week later in potions…

They had agreed to lay off Snape for a week, being that they'd upset him so much last time. But now, it was time to get going again. Ron raised his hand. Snape ignored him for some time.

"Professor?" Ron asked.

"If you are going to ask anything non-relevant to today's lesson, I suggest you put your arm down if you wish to keep it." Snape replied without looking at him.

Ron slid his hand down. "It's just, I was just wondering, is Harry really your son?" He asked.

Snape became rigid. He turned to face them. "Detention." He growled, then turned back to what he was demonstrating. Ron hung his head.

About five minutes later, Harry and Ron noticed that Hermione was no longer in her seat. Snape let out a sound that suggested surprise and startle. "Miss Granger, get back in your seat." He told her.

"No. I just found out… I'm your long lost daughter." She told him, putting her arms out and hugging him.

The room burst into giggles. "Nonsense." Snape growled, prying her off him.

"Oh really? Here are the results to the paternity test." She handed him a slip of paper, smiling from ear-to-ear, knowing it was fake, but was very convincing. Snape glared at her, snatching the paper and looking down at it. He glared back up at her after reading it.

"Take a seat, miss Granger." He growled at her as he slowly ripped it in half pointedly in front of her face.

"Don't you mean miss Snape?" That got the room giggling again.

"First he has Granger, now he's got Malfoy loaded. Greasy git can't keep his thing is his pants for five minutes." Someone muttered bravely and there was a burst of snickering afterwards.

"Silly girl, I am not your father, and I never will be, go sit down." Snape growled, choosing to ignore whoever had dared to say that.

"Okay, daddy." She hugged him again and the room burst into laughter.

Snape pried her off again. "Sit down." He shoved her and she stumbled to her seat. She got back up and hugged him again. "Stop this nonsense!" He growled at her, raising his voice.

She started crying. "Daddy doesn't love me!" She wailed, bursting into uncontrollable sobs that were really quite convincing.

Snape looked ready to burst a blood vessel, and he was clenching his fists so hard his knuckles were white. "Sit down!" He growled, shoving her again. She sat down, wiping away tears.

Harry and Ron had to admit she was an excellent actress.

"Okay, sorry Pottley, but they're just too awesome." Ginny giggled when they were in the empty classroom again after class.

Ron and Harry groand, shooting Draco and Hermione glares as Hermione and Draco grinned and high-fived.

"Grangoy nine, Pottley five."

**AN: hehe, love that one. Reviews give me inspiration! Hint *cough cough* Hint!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Part seven: Day twelve and thirteen of pranking**

…the next day in potions…

Draco raised his hand. Snape stared at him. "What?" He growled.

"What flavor are you?" Draco asked with a straight face. The room was giggling again.

Snape stared at him. He came closer, striding slowly, wand clutched firmly in hand. "What, is that supposed to mean?" He growled.

"Why you asking him that, you should know what he tastes like, Malfoy!" A random student cried, causing the room to burst into laughter again. From all they had been doing this year, potions had become everyone's favorite class.

Snape's eyes darted around the room, but he hadn't caught who said that. His eyes went back down to Draco. "I do hope you realize that I will not put up with this nonsense any longer. Any more students who think it would be funny to make up lies, or do anything else incredibly stupid, may as well pack their bags and go home now." The room was silent as his threat sunk in.

But still, the four teens, stubborn as ever, refused to go down without a fight, especially since the school year had hardly started.

Harry raised his hand. Fully confident his threat had worked, Snape responded immediately. "Yes, Potter, what is it?" He asked, his voice detached as he thinly veiled his lack of interest.

"Oh, um, was just wondering." Everyone could tell he was barely restraining his laughter from what he was about to say. "It's just, I've been having trouble sleep at night-" Snape began to cut him off, telling him he could care less, but Harry continued nonetheless. "I think I would find an easier time of it, if you read me a bedtime story and kissed me goodnight tonight." He let out a tiny giggle as he said it, but kept his composure. Several giggles could be heard.

Snape stared at him blankly for a moment. "What did I ever do to deserve this?" he muttered to no one in particular, going back to his book and calling for everyone to do the same.

"Okay, point Grangoy." Ginny smiled broadly as she marked a point next to their name after class. Draco and Hermione cheered, high-fiving.

Harry shook his head. "If Snape hadn't already been so ticked with you, he'd of reacted better to mine." He insisted.

"Sure." Hermione and Draco said sarcastically and at the same time. They looked at each other, laughing for a moment, then seemingly realizing who it was they were laughing with and instead, looked away from each other awkwardly.

Ginny cleared her throat. "Okay, Grangoy ten, Pottley five."

…the next day in potions…

Though the children decided to continue with their prankings, Snape's threat still hung in the air, and they all agreed to be careful.

During one of Snape's particularly long-winded speeches, Ron jumped up, grabbing Draco's sleeve and pulling him to the front. "Get off me!" Draco cried, causing Snape to stop mid-sentence and stare.

"What is it?" He growled.

"Sir, I'd like to let you know that I have found out a horrible truth about Malfoy." Ron said gravely.

Draco was thoroughly ticked at Ron by now. "Get your hand off me, Weaselby! I have no idea what you're talking about!" He cried, but Ron only tightened his grip, pleased that Draco was unintentionally playing along.

Snape raised an eyebrow, leaning on his desk and clutching his wand in front of him. "And what would that be?" He asked, ignoring Draco's protests completely. Ron was about to speak, when a loud bell sound pierced the silence. Everyone cried out and covered their ears, everyone, except for Draco and Hermione, who'd had to good sense to use earplugs when they'd strategically placed alarm clocks around the classroom, set to go off at five-minute intervals.

When they finally stopped, there was a silence that only can be found after two minutes of non-stop buzzing. Ron continued as if it had never happened.

"Malfoy is a traitor! He's working for the dark lord-" He was cut off again by the alarms going off. Snape's eyes had widened, then narrowed in suspicion.

"I'm doing no such thing!" Malfoy protested above the unearthly noise.

When it stopped again, Ron continued, "He's been working with the dark lord teddy bear! I swear it!" The room burst into giggles from those who had heard him and had not been made deaf by the muggle alarm clocks.

"I have proof that he's working with him! Just this morning, he ate _my _sandwich during breakfast, and is therefore evil and must die!" Ron demanded, getting the whole class roaring in laughter.

The mind-melting alarms went off again, drowning out the laughter though it was still there. Snape waited for it to stop before he replied so he could be heard. "Mister Weasley-" He began, only to be cut off by Ron.

"Tut tut, professor. I have a remedy right here that will fix this evil scum." He showed him a cup that had something in it.

Snape raised an eyebrow, but before he could lift a finger to stop Ron, he'd dumped the entire concoction forcibly down Malfoy's throat with a little help from Harry who'd come forward held him still.

"UGH! What the bloody hell is that?" Draco cried, choking and clutching at his throat as he tried to spit it out.

"Weasley, what have you given him…?" Snape asked, moving up to Draco who looked like he was going to be sick for a moment.

"You'll see." Ron giggled, high-fiving Harry as they went back to their seats. Draco suddenly stopped gagging and turned to Snape, smiling. "Hello my love." He breathed, moving closer to Snape. At his breathy voice, the entire class burst into uncontrollable giggles.

Hermione sat, dumbfounded. Was Draco in on Ron and Harry's prank, or had they actually given him a love potion? Draco moved up to Snape, who was now eyeing him with caution. Draco grinned, sliding his arms around Snape and walking his fingers up his chest.

Snape grabbed Draco's hand before it got far. "Bloody children." He spat, ushering Draco towards the door.

"Where are you taking him?" Several students asked almost simultaneously.

"Madam Pomfrey." He growled after a few students had sniggered and replied, 'Probably taking him to his room, you know, somewhere they can be alone…'

Hermione turned to Harry and Ron who were still laughing. The blasted alarms went off again, and, with a wave of her wand, she turned them off. "Did you really give him a love potion?" She cried.

They grinned and nodded. "A bloody strong one, too. It'll be a while before madam Pomfrey can get it out of his system." Ron laughed. Hermione merely shook her head, grumbling. It was clear who'd won this round.

Meanwhile, a very flustered Snape was leading a very flirty young Malfoy with insufferably roaming hands that kept Snape on his toes. To avoid the boy from further roaming, he had to finally grab hold of both hands and hold them behind the boy, pushing Draco in front of him. Severus ignored the looks the students in the halls were giving them.

"Poppy, I need you to do something with this boy." He growled when he entered.

"What's wrong?" She asked when she saw how Snape was having trouble keeping the boy's hands off of him.

"Love potion." Snape growled, slapping Draco's hand down before it could reach his face.

"Don't leave me my love!" Draco cried when madam Pomfrey took him and led him over to a seat.

"Oh dear." She murmured, making him sit down.

"No! I want to- I want, my love!" He cried, struggling.

"Severus, can you keep him calm while I prepare a counter potion?" She asked, struggling to hold the squirming boy. "I don't seem to have any already made in my stores."

Snape regretting bitterly that he hadn't left as soon as he'd dumped the boy there. He reluctantly moved over to hold Draco's wrists and keep him from writhing out of his grasp to hug him.

"Hurry up!" He growled at madam Pomfrey, who he swore was taking her time just to antagonize him.

"Don't rush me, I don't want to poison the boy." She replied calmly. At this point, Snape didn't care _what_ she did to him.

Snape turned back to glare at Draco when he was being exceptionally squirmy, pushing against Snape's grasp so that his body was pressed firmly against Snape's no matter how hard Snape pushed back. Draco took the opportunity of Snape looking right at him to lean forward and lock his lips to the all-ready angry professor's.

Snape growled, pushing him away forcefully. "POPPY!" He cried.

"Hold on!" She cried back. Snape clenched his fists tightly around Draco's wrists, causing the boy to cry out in pain, but it was the only way Snape could hold him at bay.

"Just hold him a bit longer…" She said.

"Poppy…." Snape's voice had a warning tone to it.

"I said hold on!" She cried, throwing things together at lightning speed and still trying to do it accurately. "It will take even longer, Severus, if I get something wrong and have to start over."

As that possibility crossed Snape's mind, he shut his mouth and continued holding the struggling Draco, who was quickly becoming angry. "Let go! You're hurting me!" He cried, stomping on Snape's foot like an angry teenage girl. Snape merely stepped back, feeling his foot throb painfully.

Finally unable to contain the struggling boy, he turned him around and wrapped his arms completely around Draco's body. Draco relaxed immediately, a smile spreading across his face as he leaned into Snape. "I knew you loved me." He murmured. Snape merely rolled his eyes. He would have used an Immobulus on Draco, had he thought he'd be able to hold the boy back with one hand long enough to reach for his wand, but he didn't trust his own strength enough to do it, as the boy had already shown just how strong he could be.

"Poppy." Snape growled, urging the insufferable woman to go faster.

"Just hold him, Severus, it can't be that hard." She grumbled back.

"You hold him then." He told her.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're doing just fine." She told him.

"You're not the one he's in love with!" He shot back.

"True." She smiled, moving over. "Okay, now, Draco, I need you to drink this." She told him.

"What is it?" The boy asked skeptically, scrunching his nose, his hands firmly brought up to hang on Snape's arms which were wrapped tightly around him.

"It's pumpkin juice, here sweetie, drink." She told him, putting it in his hands after Snape begrudgingly loosened his hold.

Draco glared at the cup. "I hate pumpkin juice." He said, dropping the cup. It shattered on the floor, spilling the potion everywhere.

"OH! Good Lord, Draco, next time just hand me the bloody cup!" Madam Pomfrey cried. Snape dragged Draco back from the shattered glass, strengthening his hold on the delirious boy.

With a flick of her wand, the mess was cleared up. "I'm sorry Severus, that was the last of my counter potion, do you have any in your store?" She asked.

Snape made a face. "You'll have to check, I'm a tad occupied." He told her. It was an odd sight, seeing Snape holding Draco in what almost could be a hug, with Draco smiling like he was on cloud nine the whole time.

"Alright, I'll be back." She told him, and started heading out.

"Just hurry up, will you?" Snape called after her, though if she heard, she made no sign of it.

Snape made a face. Now that madam Pomfrey was gone, it was just the two of them, in very close proximity to each other. "I knew you loved me! You got rid of her so we could be alone!" Draco said breezily. Snape rolled his eyes, glancing meaningfully at the door, expecting her to appear at any moment.

When she didn't, he started getting agitated.

Just then, Hermione ran in. "How is he?" she panted.

"Not that you'd care, but madam Pomfrey ran out of counter potion, so she's checking my store." He replied grouchily.

Hermione stood awkwardly in front of them, eyeing Draco. "I honestly had no idea Ron and Harry were going to do that." She told him.

"Oh I'm sure. You four have been a general nuisance in my classroom since the beginning of this year. You have never caused such misdemeanor in the past years, why start now?" He asked, eyeing her carefully.

She made a face, looking away. "I don't know." She replied, almost truthfully.

Snape narrowed his eyes, sensing her half-truth.

She pulled back, feeling him probing her mind. "Please stop." She asked him.

"Not until I find out why you have been causing such grief in my class." He replied ungraciously.

"I need to go." She said hurriedly. With that, she ran out, brushing past madam Pomfrey as she hurried in.

"I'm sorry, Severus, I can't make this potion." She told him.

"What?" he cried.

"You don't have any of the ingredients I need." She shook her head.

He made a face. "Surely I do…?" he mentally went over his personal store.

She simply shook her head again.

"Well then, _what_ do you suggest I do with _him?"_ He demanded.

"I'm sorry, Severus, but there's nothing you _can _do, other than wait for the potion to wear off on its own, which, depending on the potency, could be days. Even weeks!" She told him.

He closed his eyes, grinding his teeth together as he processed this information. He took in a sharp breath, glaring down at the boy who was smiling dreamily, perfectly content to stay in Snape's arms.

"What should I do with him?" He finally asked, more wearily this time.

"Just, make sure you keep an eye on him." Was all she could offer along with a helpless shrug, much to Snape's annoyance.

"Come, Draco, you must get to your next class." Snape growled at him.

"Okay." Was all he said.

Snape led him, wordlessly through the crowded hall, his hand clasped firmly on Draco's wrist as he dragged him to the next class. Draco had to stumble to keep up. Snape shoved him in the classroom, slamming the door and holding it firmly for a few moments to ensure Draco wouldn't try to escape.

Later, in the empty classroom, the teens had all met up again. Hermione had been forced to lead the confused Draco there, as he had been wandering around, looking for Snape. "Guys! How could you do this to him?!" Hermione cried, holding Draco's shoulder firmly so he wouldn't move.

Harry and Ron laughed. "Sorry, but it's all in good fun, remember?" Harry told her. She just made a face and shook her head.

"Okay, Grangoy ten, Pottley six." Ginny giggled.

Hermione didn't care at this point, Draco was leaning heavily on her and she was struggling to hold up the boy, no matter how light he was. "Don't worry, Hermione. We had the good sense to make up a counter potion." Harry told her, showing her a cup. "Here Draco. Professor Snape wants you to have this." He told Draco, holding out the cup.

Draco didn't question him at all, he just grabbed it and drank it. He continued looking dreamily about for a few moments, then his carefree smile disappeared, to be replaced by a look of confusion. "What the bloody hell happened?" He cried.

"Love potion." Hermione told him, helping him sit down.

"I feel dreadful." He complained, massaging his temples and messing up his hair in the process.

"You'll feel better tomorrow."

**AN: hehe, poor Snape. HeheahahaMUAHAHAHAHA! Sorry.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Part eight: Day fourteen and fifteen of pranking**

…the next day in potions…

Draco did indeed feel better the next day, but he felt awful about Hermione's idea for their next prank. He was to pretend to still be under the love potions effects. Which, was enough in itself, if they hadn't already had a prank planned for that day.

Ron and Harry were perfectly ready as well, though Harry was very mad at Ron for making him be the one that had to do it. "Why can't you? He likes you better." Harry whined.

"Not really." Ron reasoned.

Harry just grumbled.

Snape walked in at that moment, robes billowing behind him as they couldn't keep up with his brisk, no-nonsense pace. Harry immediately stood up, walking over to grab the 'delirious' Draco's arm. Draco's first instinct was to struggle, but he remembered just in time that he was supposed to act like he had no idea what was going on, so he let Harry drag him up to the front of class.

Snape sighed, staring at them. "What?" He asked, almost wearily.

"Professor, mister Malfoy is a sick, twisted, perverted rapist!" He cried. Snape narrowed his eyes in confusion. "I was out, sleepwalking last night, and I woke up to him…." He sucked in his breath, pretending to be mortified by this. "And he, he was raping me!" he cried, sending the class into a fit of giggling.

Snape stared at Harry, then at Draco, who was staring back at him hungrily. Snape drew back from the look, then looked back at Harry. "Mister Malfoy is under the influence of the love potion you and mister Weasley so graciously fed him yesterday, I'm sure-"

Harry cut him off. "But it _hurt!" _He whined, making Snape visibly cringe and scowl as Harry's words forced visuals into his mind. "I want you to question him, make him tell you why he did it!" Harry demanded. Snape ground his teeth together, thoroughly irritated by how the rest of the class found this so amusing.

"Just, go sit down, I'll talk to him after class." He instructed wearily. Harry snorted, releasing Malfoy and going back to his seat.

Draco stayed put, winking at Snape and smiling. "I'll see you after class." He whispered loudly, giggling in the most disturbing manner, then skipping cheerfully back to his seat. 

The whole class burst into giggles. Snape demanded silence and went on with the lesson.

Later, in the empty classroom, the four; Hermione, Harry, Ron and Ginny, giggled and talked excitedly while they waited for Draco, who was having his 'special meeting' with Snape at that point.

"So, so you guy's prank is to have Draco pretend to still be under the love potion's influence?" Ron was laughing.

Hermione nodded. "Uh-huh." She giggled.

"That's rich." Ron laughed.

"Yours was too." Hermione smiled. "Accusing Draco of rape." She shook her head, laughing.

"I suppose it would have been funnier had Snape not believed Draco to still be under the potion." Harry offered.

"But it was still bloody funny!" Ron cried.

They all agreed. Just then, Draco walked in. They all crowded around him, begging for details. He sat down and started telling them what happened.

_I was rudely grabbed by the arm, then dragged helplessly into his office, where he ungraciously shoved me down into a rather uncomfortable seat before he put himself behind the safety of his desk._

_I had simply sat there, staring at him with the best dreamy 'I'm in love with you' look I could manage. He sat, staring at me for a long time before he said anything, and as soon as he started, I knew that it was going to be awkward. _

_"Draco…" he began. "Mister Potter has accused you of something very…" He searched for the proper word. "Immoral." Was the word he chose. I simply stared at him, a vacant look on my face, struggling so desperately not to laugh, though visibly he could see no strain. He sighed, shifting in his seat. _

_"Can you even understand what I'm saying?" he asked. _

_"Of course, love may be blind, but it's not deaf. I can hear you." I told him, smiling sweetly. I knew I had made him uncomfortable, but he did his best to not show it._

_"Well, did you do it?" He finally asked. I knew he was avoiding the word, so I wanted to force him to say it. _

_"Do what?" I asked innocently. _

_"What mister Potter accused you of." He offered. _

_I stared at him for a moment. "Oh, if he accused me of loving you, he didn't get it wrong." I told him, making him shift in his seat again._

_"Draco, you're under the influence of a love potion, you don't love me." He told me. _

_"But of course I do!" I cried, jumping up. I moved over to his side of the desk, making him move back slightly as I drew nearer. _

_"I can prove it too!" I told him. _

_"Draco, sit down." He told me. _

_"Not until you believe me!" I told him, getting all the nearer. _

_"Dra-Draco…" He said in a warning tone, actually looking a little panicked. I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. He shoved me away, but I was under a potion, I would not be pushed away. Wink wink._

Draco laughed at this point, doubling over, his cheeks flushing red.

"Hey! What happened next? Come on, don't keep us in suspense!" Hermione pleaded, clinging to Draco's arm.

Draco shook his head, grinning then continued telling the story.

_I got close to him again. "The real reason you brought me here is so you could be alone with me, isn't it?" I smiled, leaning on the side of his chair and smiling up at him. "It's okay, you can admit it. I won't tell anyone." I whispered into his ear._

_Snape sighed, shifting so he was as far away from me as possible. "Draco, keep your distance, or I will harm you." He warned me. _

_"I love it when you play hard to get." I murmured, running a hand up and down his leg. He grabbed my hand, rather painfully, I might add, and slapped it onto his desk, pinning it there. _

By this point, he had everyone rolling on the floor, tears in their eyes they were laughing so hard while he showed Hermione the growing bruise on his wrist to prove this indeed had happened.

_I grinned. "Oh, so you like things a bit rough." I smirked. He made a face, standing and physically turning me so I wasn't facing him._

_ "As far as I'm concerned, this meeting is over." He growled, pushing me to the door. _

_"But, professor-" _

_He cut me off. "Go to your next class." He told me, pushing me back as I turned to face him. _

_"Can I at least have a hug?" I begged. _

_"No." He pushed me again, trying to get me out the door, but, of course, I wasn't going to let him get rid of me that easily. _

_I jumped at him, hugging him tightly. He tried to pry me off, muttering swear words I could just barely hear. Knowing I couldn't really get into trouble because I was 'under a potion', I pulled back, pressing my lips firmly against his. He shoved me forcefully. "Go, next class. Now." He slammed the door in my face._

"Wait wait, hold up! You kissed him?! I mean, you actually… uhhmm muh?" Ron cried, eyes wide, making wild motions with his hands before letting them drop limply as he stared at Draco, jaw hanging open.

Draco made a face. "I was under a love potion, remember? Plus, that's what took me so long, I went to the bathroom and washed my mouth out with soap." He told them, scrunching up his nose in disgust.

Ginny giggled. "Okay, I'm giving both teams a point, because if it weren't for team Pottley, Draco would never have gone into Snape's office, and Draco made such a great show in there, I think his team deserves a point too." She told them and he scowled at her.

"Okay, so it's Grangoy eleven, Pottley seven."

…the next day in potions…

This day was incredibly awkward for Draco, as he felt Snape's eyes on him practically every moment, but he just pretended to be fully recovered from the love potion, with no idea of what had happened the day before.

Ron raised his hand. "What, mister Weasely?" Snape growled.

"You know sir, muggles always do stuff about it when their faces are so far gone, I think you should too. You know, maybe get a face lift?" He told him, putting his hands on his face to stretch the skin, offering an 'example' for Snape. The students giggled, especially the ones who understood what a muggle 'face lift' was.

Snape stared at him for a moment. "Five points from Gryffindor." He growled. Ron shut his mouth.

Hermione raised her hand.

"What?" he growled.

"I think you should lighten up a little, professor. I mean, you and Draco make an adorable couple." She told him smirking.

Snape glared at her, ignoring the other students as they giggled. "_Ten_, points from Gryffindor."

Hermione's face fell. 'oh great.' Harry thought. 'Now Hermione's going to start protesting about the pranks.' He thought.

Later, in the empty classroom, the children started discussing the new problem that had risen. "We can't risk losing points like this." Hermione complained.

"How else are we going to do it then?" Ron cried.

"We'll just have to stop." She said matter-of-factly.

Everyone turned on her, eyes wide."NO!" They shouted at the same time.

"Hermione, don't be such a fun-killer. We can keep doing this, we just have to be careful and stop doing pranks every day. You know, give him breaks." Ron reasoned.

The others agreed, all but Hermione. "Come on, 'Mione. We can do this." Harry begged, taking her shoulders.

She had her arms folded and she looked away. "I don't know." She sighed.

"Please." Ron begged, coming up to smile at her from behind Harry.

"Yeah, I can do all the pranks from now on if you want, you can just… come up with the idea's if you want…" Draco added awkwardly.

Hermione looked at the pale boy in surprise. "Really? Thanks Draco."

"Okay, Grangoy twelve, Pottley seven."

**AN: hehehemuahahauhaahah! Please send reviews. They will be used as currency to pay for my enrollment ina mental facility. :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Part nine: Day of pranking**

…a week later in potions…

They had waited a week for good measure before doing anymore pranks. Draco smirked when Snape walked in. He began singing –very well actually- at the top of his lungs; 'Dreams all die' by a muggle song artist.

"Oh, you can't hear me cry, see my dreams all die, from where you standing on your own, it's so quiet here, and I feel so cold, this house no longer feels like home, ooohhh, mmmm, ohhhhh, mmmm, oh when you told me you'd leave, I felt like I couldn't breathe, my aching body fell to the floor, when I called you at home, you said that you weren't alone, I should have known better, now it hurts much more."

"ohh, mmm, ohhhhh, mmmmmm, you caused my heart to bleed and, you still owe me a reason, cause I can't figure out why, why I'm alone freezing, while you're in the bed he's in, and I'm just left alone to cry, ohhhhh, ohhhh, ohhh who oh oh, yeah yeah. Yeah yeah, whoa ohhh oh oh, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah, ohh"

"You caused my heart to bleed and, you still owe me a reason, and I can't figure out why… oh, you can't hear me cry, watch my dreams all die, from where you're standing, on your own, it's so quiet here, and I feel so cold, this house no longer, feels like home…" The students were all laughing and clapping now, and Snape was standing in front of his desk, arms crossed, staring with a bored look on his face.

"Are you quiet finished?" He asked. Draco shrugged. "Good. You just bought yourself a week of detention." Snape went to the front and began teaching.

Draco smirked. "Great, so I just get to spend every evening with you for a week." He said brightly, causing Snape to go rigid and the students to snicker.

Snape ignored him and continued teaching.

"Give it back!" Harry suddenly jumped up and grabbed Draco.

"What the- what the bloody hell!?" Draco screamed when Harry started ripping Draco's wizard robe off and trying to pull off his shirt.

"Mister Potter, what are you doing?" Snape called.

"Malfoy stole my wand!" He cried.

"Did not! I don't know what you're talking about!" Draco cried, shoving him and stumbling up, his robes and clothes all messed up.

"PROFESSOR SNAPE! I _insist _you help me search him until we find it!" Harry demanded.

"Stop this nonsense." Snape growled. "Sit down, both of you." He told them.

"Not until Malfoy gives my wand back!" Harry cried.

"I never took your bloody wand!" Draco cried, sounding desperate for Harry to believe him. "What's gotten into you?" he cried.

Harry grabbed Draco's arm and dragged him to the front and shoved him so that he stumbled, falling into Snape, who caught him out of instinct, then, realizing who he was, let him drop to the floor.

Draco scrambled to his feet, attempting to fix his robe which was slipping off his shoulders. "I swear, I never took your bloody wand!" he hissed, shoving Harry, who stumbled several steps back to keep from falling.

"Stop!" Snape got between them, pushing them back from each other. "Draco, give him his wand." He told him.

Draco glared at Snape. "I never took the bloody thing." He hissed slowly, glaring daggers into Harry.

"Potter, are you _sure _he took it?" He asked.

"Positive, I saw him take it!" Harry accused.

"I didn't take it!" Draco almost whined.

"Search him! I know you'll find it!" Harry demanded. "Go on, search him!" He cried.

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and sighing. He made Draco take off his robe. He searched the pockets and found Draco's wand. He raised his eyebrows and showed it to Harry. Harry shook his head. "That's not mine, keep looking." He grumbled, crossing his arms.

"I don't have any more places to keep a wand." Draco cried, patting at himself and showing that he'd already been stripped of his robe.

Snape was feeling of the robe, but there was nothing left in it. "I'm sorry, Potter, but he doesn't have it." Snape growled at him, shoving Draco's robe into his grasp.

"He could still be hiding it!" Harry cried.

"But I'm not!" Draco snapped, pulling his robe back on.

"Take your seats, and I want no more interruptions." Snape told them. They both obeyed, glaring at each other.

Suddenly, Harry charged at Draco, knocking him completely onto Hermione and causing her to scream as all three of them fell from the seat and onto the floor. Snape threw his book down, moving over to try and get Harry off Draco. Hermione was still screaming, as Draco was on top of her, and Harry was on top of him.

"Get off!" Draco cried, putting his hands on either side of Hermione to try to keep his weight off her as much as possible, but it was difficult as Harry's weight on top of him was almost too much for him to handle.

Snape ripped Harry off, pulling him away. Draco jumped to his feet, then helped Hermione up. She was whimpering and clutching at her arm. Draco glared at Harry, then put his hand gently at Hermione's back and ushered her out of the room.

They ignored the yelling that stayed behind them in the classroom. "Bloody idiot." Draco growled, inspecting Hermione's arm as they walked away. "Never took his stupid wand."

Hermione grimaced as she stared at the large bruise on her arm.

"Come on." Draco sighed as they had reached the empty classroom. He made her sit down as he looked at her arm closely. "Does it hurt?" He asked. 'Stupid question.' He scolded himself.

"Yes." Hermione answered anyway, her voice tearful.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" Draco asked, looking up at her as he gently held her arm in his hands. "When I fell on you?"

She shook her head. "No, this is from when I hit the floor." She murmured.

"Good." He did a double-take of her face. He reached up and gently touched her chin.

"Did you hit your face on the desk?" he asked. She nodded. "Looks like there's a bruise there too, bloody idiot." He added the last part quietly, reaching for his wand. It was gone. "What-" He held his robe out, staring into the pocket, but it wasn't there. He cursed, looking around the see if it had fallen.

"Bloody fool took my wand!" He cried. Hermione didn't reply. She was too busy clutching her arm painfully. Draco sighed, plopping down beside her.

"You got hurt too." She reached up her good arm to his right cheek. He raised his hand to his cheek and winced when it hurt.

He cursed under his breath. A while later, all but Harry came into the empty classroom to find Hermione and Draco were fast asleep.

"Wake up." Ginny poked them. They woke up.

"Where is he?" Draco cried, jumping up. "I'll peel his skin off, the bloody idiot!" He cried.

"Relax, Malfoy. He's in detention for attacking you." Ron told him snappishly.

"Good. The fool needs to learn the difference between a thief and the victim. He's the one who stole _my_ wand."

Ron shrugged, plopping down on the floor.

"So… that wasn't a prank?" Ginny asked, trying to defuse the tension to no avail.

Ron shook his head. "No, we were just going to steal Snape's teaching book." He cried. "I don't know what Harry was doing."

"Being an idiot." Draco grumbled, sitting back down beside Hermione.

"Are you okay?" Ron finally asked, sitting down on Hermione's other side. She nodded, clutching at her arm.

"Okay, since you guys didn't get to do your prank… I guess I can award team Grangoy with a point…" Ginny sighed.

Ron snorted at that. "Thanks a lot, Harry!" he thew out his arms, staring up at the ceiling.

"Okay, that's Grangoy thirteen, Pottley seven."

**…the next day after potions…**

The five teens didn't bother pulling pranks in potions that day, especially because they knew Snape wouldn't appreciate it very much after what had happened the day before.

They all met up again in the empty classroom to ask Harry why he'd attacked Draco. "Okay, why the bloody hell did you attack me yesterday? I never took your blasted wand! And you took mine, so give it back!" Draco cried as soon as they were in the safety of the empty classroom, away from prying eyes and listening ears.

"I didn't take your wand!" Harry cried. "And besides, I _saw_ you take mine!" He shoved Draco back.

"I never touched the bloody thing!" Draco shrieked, fed up with it.

The boys stopped fighting and turned abruptly to Hermione when she let out a loud shriek of alarm.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked.

"Are you okay?" harry cried.

"My wand! It, it's gone!"

**AN: so, what do you think is going on? Hehe, you'll have to wait and find out.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Part 10: Wands**

…the next day in potions…

"They _have _to be in here somewhere!" Draco cried, searching the whole room. Since the day before, when Hermione's wand went missing, Ron had found that his was gone too. It was before class, and they had exactly five minutes to search before other students started showing up.

"Where else could they be?" Ron asked.

"Draco, did Snape ever give your wand back after he showed it to me?" Harry asked after a moment of silence.

Draco thought for a minute. "Well, he never actually handed it back to me, he just… I guess I figured he'd put it back in my robe." He replied.

"What if Snape took our wands?" Ron cried.

"You would be correct." The children all jumped, startled and turned sharply to face the door, when Snape stood, holding all of their wands in his hands.

"Why?" Hermione cried, stepping forward.

"You're not getting them back until good behavior is promised." Snape continued, walking into the room.

"That's not fair!" Ron protested.

"We're just having a bit of fun!" Draco cried.

"Yeah!" Harry put in. They were all glaring at him now.

"I specifically told you, I do not tolerate nonsense." Snape replied, striding up to his desk. "If you still refuse to cooperate, you'll not be getting these back for a while." He threw them in his drawer and closed it, locking it with a spell.

"Take your seats." He told them as other students were coming in. The kids grumbled and complied.

Later, in the empty classroom, the children sat dejectedly. "Sorry for blaming you for taking my wand." Harry sighed, apologizing to Draco.

Draco looked over at him. "Yeah, it's fine…. Hey wait, I thought you said you _saw _me take it." He narrowed his eyes in confusion. "But… I didn't. You lied?"

Harry looked sheepish. "Yeah… I was so sure you were the one who'd taken it… I kinda made that part up…" He stared at his shoes, his face red.

Draco scrunched up his face. "Why?"

Harry sighed, looking like he felt awful. "I don't know, I just… for some reason really wanted to believe it was you who'd taken it. So much so that I was determined to make everyone else believe that too."

Draco came over and stared at him. He sighed and patted his shoulder awkwardly. "It's fine." He murmured, but anyone could tell he was hurt by that.

Harry sighed and nodded.

"So, how do we get our wands back?" Ron suddenly piped up.

"Simple. We behave." Hermione said, her arms crossed, her face serious as she stared blankly ahead. They all turned to look at her.

"You can't be serious?!" Ron begged.

"Yeah, Hermione, we can't just give up!" Draco cried, not even noticing that he'd called her by her first name.

"Sorry, but it's the only way we'll get our wands back." She told them, a hint of the disappointment finally showing in her eyes as her shoulders slumped slightly.

"But he can't just… keep our wands, can he?" Harry protested and Hermione shrugged in response.

"No, he can't." Draco said suddenly, staring at the floor thoughtfully. They all turned to stare at him. He looked up at them. "Don't you see? We weren't doing any of the pranks with our wands, therefore he isn't allowed to take them." He told them, his eyes flicking from face to face.

"Come on!" He cried, jumping up and heading for the door.

Ron, Hermione and Harry looked at each other doubtfully, but followed him anyway.

**…**

Severus Snape was in the potions classroom after the last class of the day, working on grading essays. He snarled at Granger's essay and put a very low grade on it without even looking at it.

He was brought out of his angry thoughts by movement in the corner of his vision.

"Professor, we want our wands back!"

Snape looked up from what he was dong, a thin, insincere smile on his face. "Are you ready to behave?"

"You don't understand, professor. You're only allowed to confiscate our wands if we're using them for misdemeanor. We weren't using our wands for any of our pranks. You have to give them back." Draco told him.

Hermione's eyes widened as she stood behind him, thinking. He was right! Why had she not thought of that before?

Snape slammed his fist down on his desk. "You have made my class the laughing stock of the whole school, I won't have it!" He cried, making the children flinch.

"But professor, don't you see? You could get in trouble for taking our wands! We never used them for anything other than what we were supposed to! What if we were in trouble and needed our wands, but didn't have them? You wouldn't want that playing at your conscience." Hermione stepped up beside Draco.

"Give them back!" Harry added, stepping up beside Hermione.

"Yeah!" Ron stepped up on Draco's other side.

The four children look at each other, then locked hands and began chanting 'Give them back! _Give them back!_ GIVE THEM BACK!' over and over and over, their voices rising with every chant.

"OKAY! Okay, shut up!" Snape cried, waving a hand at them, the other massaging his throbbing temple.

The children smiled excitedly with one another, still holding hands.

Snape glared at them, opening his desk drawer and pulling out their wands. He glared resentfully at the children as he handed them back, first to Ron, then Draco, Hermione and then Harry.

"Thank you, professor. Good evening." Hermione said politely, and all four of them left the room, leaving a thoroughly humiliated professor Snape.


End file.
